Misconceptions 

I’ve noticed that when one is severely sick, injured, or newly or temporarily disabled, there is a tendency for the people around that person to act differently around them. It’s like that people around that person are nervous to be around them now. 

I first noticed it in May when I had my back surgery, that people who normally called, texted, or visited me seemed to want nothing to do with me. I asked them why that had happened, and they said they wanted to “give me space” or “let me rest and relax”. Don’t get me wrong, these are both good things. But when you are unable to go out and do the social things that you used to do, and it becomes necessary for friends to come to you, the dynamic can change.

You now have to initiate all social interactions, whereas before it may have been more natural. I found it necessary to almost beg my friends to come visit me after my back surgery. Though they meant well by trying to give me space, I really just needed some company. I found that this time around more people have been willing to come to my house and hang out with me. It’s not glamorous and we may not be able to do things that we used to do, but I really enjoyed the company and the conversation. Several friends have even been nice enough to bring me food, because it’s difficult for me to cook and get around the kitchen. 

I have been most grateful with the friends and family who have come around me and not treated me differently due to my disability. I know it can be hard for people to understand how I feel but the best way to know is just ask me. Normally, on a day-to-day basis, I get to talk to my coworkers and people out and about and may not need as much company when I get home. But when you are alone and injured, it can be very helpful to have company around to stave off loneliness. 

Updated pictures below: 

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